From Jen at Bits of Truth

As I sit here this Friday afternoon… watching the clouds roll by from where I sit at the 9-5. I do actually have a pretty nice seat in my office… Staring out into the cities landscape of DC. (Guess one perk of working as a designer for a “Cubicle”/systems manufacturer is that I can put glass where I want! ha!) I watch the planes fly into Reagan National Airport, I wonder. Where did they come from?  Is it the last day of their vacation? Is it a business trip? Maybe visiting DC? Embarking on a new journey….has me thinking.

With regard to different subjects in my life.. I’m in different processes of embarking.  Some of them, I’m already buckled in… have listened to the safety schpeal, and am awaiting takeoff. I hear the bags being loaded, and we’re waiting to pull back from the terminal in order to get in line to takeoff into the wild blue yonder. Other subjects, I’m still at the ticket counter, finding out when they start the process calling out seating… the waiting, the anticipation,  the nerves “Oh God, I hope it’s a smooth flight!” , the desire to find something actually worth while to eat while I wait. ha!

Okay if you don’t know, I’m not the best flier (NOT that I don’t like to fly.. I tend to panic when dealing with turbulence. Next time you see Peter, ask him about our trip back from Indiana one time… it’s hilarious (although NOT at the time!)  Anywho… but even though I’m panicking… I’m still giddy with excitement with regard to what’s on the other side! WEE! My friends are going to be there!!! Oh the experiences to be had! The food to be enjoyed! The pictures to take!

That’s where I am… I know the destination is exciting.. full of JOY, exploration, new pathways, new pictures, new friends/kindred spirits/new opportunities for growth (Fun in the Sun/Hot Sandy Beaches/Margaritas with salt….ahhhh),  just feeling a little anxious, a little nervous. Gotta remember my teachers who tell me it’s the not the HOW it’s going to happen that are important . My job is to visualize the outcome (and when necessary, to take inspired action). Hand it over to God/The Universe.  Personally, I do not think we have the tools of understanding just HOW to let go of the outcome.. Picture a toolbelt, we dont’ have the tool of Letting go and Unwaivering Faith. Unfortunately, we are taught through fear. I’m not saying I firmly hold the tool of Letting go in my hand either. I just know if I want to successfully build my life, I have to have the right tools and more importantly, HOW to use them. Takes practice.

I put positive phrases on my calendar on my phone to remind me every day. I will leave you with todays….

“Every day, or at the very least once or twice a week, take a few minutes and focus on seeing yourself in joy. Feel yourself in joy. Imagine only joy ahead in your life and see yourself basking in it. As you do this the Universe(God)  will move all people, circumstances and events to bring you that joy. You cannot be in joy if you are worrying.  Deposit some joy in the bank of the Universe as often as you can. There isn’t an investment that is more worthwhile.” – Abraham Hicks

Wishing you a wonderful weekend.
Much Love,
xoxo
Kerilyn

Dear God from Jen at Bits of Truth

1. Gotta say it. Morning Coffee (Hands down)
2. For my job, the 9-5 (more like 9-6) that ALLOWS me the flexibility to make choices that I find desirable to my soul, for my present and into the future. That I work at an office with fellow co-workers that I have already worked with previous… which makes this position i’m in more comfortable.
3. My senses. I am so grateful that I can see (the sparkles the sun makes on the water) hear (music that moves me), taste (Filet Mignon, Guacamole), smell (Coco Chanel, Bacon), touch (Kitty Girl Pez)  and intuit (Thank You Bertha!)
4. That I firmly believe in The Law of Attraction/God/Reincarnation/Spirit/Mediums/Psychics (Even when I am needing a reminder when I feel stuck)
5. For all the lovelies that I have met on The Declaration of You E-Course, through my Coaching Program, Ivy my soul sista at work, the women in my group. I am so grateful.

1. JigsawBox – I participated in a presentation with the creator yesterday, Her coaching/Solopreneurship Platform is EXACTLY what Married to a Chef needs. (In one phrase, it’s 24/7 access to coaching)
2. How homey our new place is going to feel once we get everything set and in place. Ahh…. (Insert Happy Dance)
3. Been itching to get some more tattoos. 1. 3 ladybugs (I’m thinking on my hand/wrist or foot – can’t decide) 2. a phrase with the words ‘JAH’ in them. (ex. JAH GIVE I STRENGTH) (Side note: Check out this inspiring chicas AWESOME  tattoo.. hmm,got me thinkin) 3. The words ‘Ancora Imparo/I am still learning’ above and below my existing tattoo.
4. Having a baby belly. Nuff said.

 Tomorrow is December. I know you’ve probably already said this but WHERE did this year go?

In some respects… the speed to which this year has gone by is perfectly acceptable to me. Last year this time, I didn’t have a job.  I realized I wanted to do something else with my weekdays, but I didn’t know how it was going to manifest. I was frustrated. Stuck. Now… boy, I am in a Life Coaching Program, about to become certified, slated to launch my MILLION DOLLAR IDEA in the new year, working at the 9-5 with people that I respect and enjoy working with, cut off my hair (Ahh!), bought my husband a motorcycle that I LOVE to see him enjoying so much, paid off my car, went on 1 year wedding annivizaversary vacation, began the journey to create a little baby Russo, made united decisions about the future of our physical health, took my first E-Course (which has been FANTABULOUS!), made SO MANY new friends, Kindred spirits actually who make me feel like I’ve finally found my people who’s own desire to ‘dig deep’ is only compared by their desire to help others dig as well, and now our decision to move to new digs…. SO much in one year.

so much to be grateful for, hopeful for, happy for.

This year will be, without a doubt – the most exciting and liberating of my life. I feel more myself than I ever have. More in tune with my “who” as they say in coaching. Am I done? Not even close. Will I ever be? Again a resounding no. I’m just proud of myself of the huge leaps and bounds forward I’ve made. Who knows what next year brings.

But until that clock rings twelve on New Years Day, I will continue to float in the pool of December. Arms stretched out,  I will continue to look up at the stars (or clouds) and bask in just how blessed I am. Relax and listen to the sound of my own breathing, IN and OUT… one breath, one step at a time. FINALLY becoming comfortable with who I am in regard to where I’ve been. 

Feels so damn good.
Talk soon, okay?
xoxo
Kerilyn

ah well, okay…thats better. Okay so back to our regularly scheduled program…. (shake it off, shake it off)

This past weekend was Thanksgiving.  (I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that. ha)
A pause of time  to celebrate all the things in our lives that we have to be thankful for.
This year I feel I have more than my fair share of Thankful-ness.
Enough that I want to share.. (Me? Share? Really? No! Pshaw!)

So here we go:

5 things I am thankful for: (Or Gratitudes from the girls at Kind Over Matter)

1. Without even thinking about it.. my husband. He stretches me beyond the limit to which I am comfortable; while always making sure I know that he’s got my back. He snaps me out of my always needing to plan ahead, and allows me the baby steps to realize that I can do anything. I am so thankful.
2. Okay it isn’t how most of you spend your Thanksgiving day, but my Thanksgiving day I spent alone and loved every minute of it. The husband had to work all day, Thursday-Saturday – like 15 hr days, so I was on my own. I really allowed myself to relax, daydream… just BE. We had our Thanksgiving yesterday (Sunday) and I kinda liked having it afterward. We recorded the Thanksgiving Day Parade on Thursday, so after we ate… we all sat on the couch and watched it. It still felt like it was Thanksgiving.. listening to the Marching bands and watching the singers lip sync.
3. Making the decision to move. Just in time for the new year, to bring in a fresh batch of energy to our lives.. in preparation for 2011 which I personally believe will be our most exciting to date! We’re both feel so giddy that we made this decision – Peter’s already underway with packing, and we will be celebrating Christmas Eve in our new place. (Wish us luck that we get it all set up the way we want it AND get a tree and decorate in time!)
4. For the words: Declaration/I DECLARE! , ALLOW, VALUE, and most importantly… COMMON. All these words make me feel hopeful, optimistic, and healthy. I find myself using them quite a bit more than I ever have.
5. Knowing I have some blow my mind friends in my life. I might not see them all the time.. but when we do get to talk.. over a drink, at each others houses, after a movie, or on the phone for hours… I feel like I’m settling into the comfy chair… letting out a big SIGH.. and ALLOWING myself to just let go knowing I am safe. Whether it be about relationships, design, spirituality,  inspirations, following our dreams, I feel at home with my friends.  Thank you my beloveds. 
6. THREE (count em) THREE Complimentary Coaching Sessions!!! YOWSA!!! Amazing.

3 things that make me happy:

1. Morning Coffee. Hand down the one thing that will set my day off right.
2. My kitty girl. Sigh, she brings me joy. (Peter came up with a new name for her. Pez D. Spencer.. ha ha ha!)
3. Daydreaming. (Things I want to buy, future baby belly, writing a book, leaving 9-5, moving down south, the list goes on)

2 things i look forward to this week:

1. I am visiting with a Kindred Spirit/coach that I’ve met through my coaching program on Saturday. Laura. I know shes come into my life at JUST this right time.
2. Packing! (Okay I’m not overjoyed with packing but the result will be worth it!)  and Moving my things that are at my parents house to our new abode on Sunday!

Okay my lovelies… I wish you peace this day.
~best~
Kerilyn

how are you all doing out there? With the passing of daylight savings time, it’s dark by 5pm again, and I find this time of year to be a bit more challenging for me. I’m affected by the light, as I know a lot of you are. I guess only recently I realized just how much.

For those who don’t know me really well, Meditation is a part of who I am. Thinking of it makes my breath slow.. and I find myself closing my eyes and taking in a deep breath. Communing with my divine self. With spirit. So I find it interesting that I haven’t had it as a daily practice in almost four years. I started off in Meditation class, three years, once a week for 40 minutes, then I took it home, meditated for 5 years, 5 times a week for 30 minutes..It was integrated into my bloodstream. It helped me feel centered, not get irrational AS quickly, be more focused. I feel like I’ve lost yet another friend when I think of trying to incorporate it into my life now.. and only recently do I understand why.

When I stopped meditating.. I was becoming more and more unsure with my previous relationship, feeling less and less myself, almost losing myself completely in my own desparation to be ‘seen’ and wanted by someone else. Even during the time I didn’t quite understand why I wasn’t doing it.. wasn’t getting up early to sit. I LOVE the mornings..(I really am a morning person) I love opening my eyes, seeing my kitty girl, smelling coffee.. and knowing that meditating was to come. I couldn’t understand why I would want to deliberately not continue my practice. It’s been something I’ve been uncomfortable even talking about. My friends who know that’s a part of me would say “Why don’t you find the time to meditate? as a way of comforting me, and I never had an answer. Truthfully it stumped me as much as them.

So I’m sitting in my Mod II of my Coaching Practice…just last month.  I (of course) volunteer to be a client, and she asks me.. “So, what can I help you with?”,  it just came out. “I need help understanding why I am not meditating anymore.” And so on she proceeded to ask me questions, with each shovel full of dirt, she was able to help me discover that I stopped as a way of protecting something I loved. Like I said above, meditating was a friend and of course I wanted to protect that energy that made me feel ‘so much myself.’ I knew I was not in a good place in my heart, and I, without even knowing it, had shut that down as a way of protecting it. (What a revelation it was, I must say!) It made me both sad and happy to realize I wasn’t just not interested in it anymore. That there was a reason behind my action. (Actually it brought me sweet relief)

Then we discovered when I moved in with my now husband – in a VERY complicated, short transition from one man to another (LONG STORY – Read the Washington Post article on ‘Who am I’ Page of site for more info) I would have thought that now that I was “safe”, that I would resume something that felt like breathing to me. Nope. The teacher who was coaching me helped me to understand there were two reasons why I didn’t continue. One,  the light in the house I am currently living in does not make me feel.. well light. (We live in a row house, with windows on front and back) I had always felt that way about where I live (even before I moved in), but again, never attributed it to why I wasn’t meditating. Ya know what? It makes total sense. I never really gave TOO much attention to my desire for light. Oh and let me clarify NATURAL light. (Side note: I take a shower in the morning with the blinds open and the lights off, even if it’s cold out, I open the door to let natural light into our place. I feel much more comfortable in my bedroom where it’s lighter. It wasn’t something I was really aware of.. until she helped me excavate it from my mind and my heart. Again, made me feel.. well, lighter. (ha!)

And final shovel of dirt exposed, that I also CHOSE to spend that extra time in bed with my husband (then fiancee) – even if he was sleeping – than to meditate. It was an expression of safety, as I understood it to be.

In talking with the love of my life about this, that and a side story that we are not cooking as much as we’d like because we don’t really like the kitchen. I, can’t stand the kitchen. It’s outdated, and well, dark. We had a chat and decided that since we are choosing to stay in the area at least till next Fall – that we would look for some place that was a bit bigger, and had more light.

I am surprised at how excited I am at the thought of moving to someplace new. Someplace with more light. I have been daydreaming of where I am going to sit and resume my practice.A place where we can create our weeks worth of meals and NOT spend extra unnecessary money going out. Making it FUN to stay in.

If that isn’t a sign, I do not know what is.

(Side note: Do I want to spend the extra money? uh NO. NO NO NO. especially not in this area where cost of living is insane.) But the hubs and I really talked about it. We think it’s important. As a practice of self-care, and living in the present, we are deciding to do this. We are ready to move away NOW, but the timing is still not quite right… I thank God to Peter and his ability to not take life SO seriously.. that he can help me relax into it as needed. As I see it.. it’s very needed.  (Peters goal is to be moved into a place by Christmas Eve… no pressure! HA!)

So we’ll see.. stay tuned. Peter and his career.. me and my 9-5. full time coaching calls, taking my first E-Course, tending to my kitty girl (she’s been having seizures), digging into some heavy and emotional topics of late, exercising 3x/week, and finding time for Peter and I… it’s been a JAM packed time. Add looking at houses and it takes it up a notch to absolute nuttyness.

All I can say is through this nuttyness, I feel really hopeful. Safer and more loved than I ever have in my life. (My husband saved my life) and I know, like I’ve said before that this time next year will MOST DEFINITELY look a LOT different!!!

I really have been wanting to write more.. but time/the need to rest has not allowed me to devote my full attention.. please know I have LOTS more to say (surprise!) and am looking forward to the next time I can spill with you.

xoxo
Kerilyn

I follow the blog of the most ADORABLE couple in DC  - I think she is drop dead gorgeous!  and they are so cute together!!!
(I’m not a dog person but you can feel the love they have for their precious Kingsley!)

Plus I love that they live in D.C. and really take advantage of all it has to offer!
(Oh.. and is she not the most adorable pregnant woman you’ve ever seen??? I hope that whenever I am blessed with a baby belly that I make even HALF the attempt that she does! Pregnancy looks SO WONDERFUL on her!)

Well, they did this AWESOME video with their friends and I wanted to share!
Hopefully it will lift your spirits just like it did mine!!! 

Postcards From Italy from ForYouLoveMe on Vimeo.

cya!
xoxo
Kerilyn

PS: I am totally enjoying the wonderful E-Course that I am taking right now… One of the AMAZING SPECTACULAR SPECTACULAR tools that was bestowed upon me is this FREAKING AWESOME Mission Statement Creator by Franklin Covey  – Check it out!!!  (Thank you ladies of The Declaration of You for all these wonderful lessons and tools. You are helping me feel even more grateful for all the blessings I have. Muah. Muah. Love ya, mean it! )