Hiety folks…

Kerilyn here.. Friday.. it’s been raining and COLD (like the 40′s?) for the past 3 days.. and it’s kinda put me in a melancholy mood.  Plain out blah. As you might expect – the dwindling down of Wedding energy has made daily life more pronounced and the fact that I am without employment. The past 3 days this have been difficult for me. What is my next step? I’m just not sure. I really wish I was. To tell you the truth.. I think I’m scared. Actually yes.. I can admit I’m very much scared.

Scared with lots of moments of faith… and optimism. It’s like the TV Show I’m watching is called “Oh no you don’t have a job Kerilyn” and every 2 minutes… just when it gets intense…ep.. commercial! Time for (insert some catchy tune here) “Faith… It’s the best thing on the market.. it’s organic and abundant… it’s endless! Come on! It FEELS good! Try some Faith on for size.. I guarantee you.. you will be glad you did! GOOOOO FAITH!”Then… (insert some impending dracula kinda music) back to the Fear Channel… Ugh.

It’s not that I’m unfamiliar with this swinging pendulum of dualing feelings. I VERY much am… but dang it if I wish I could master it.  You would think that I woulda learned by now. Grr at myself.

I have these two projects.. 1. Writing a Book (Have I started? uh..er… um well.. no?) and 2. Our Marriedtoachef.com website.. which both of these projects are in FULL IDEA mode… spinning spinning ideas.. whirling around all the time… just kinda dont’ know how to manifest Action. (Side Note: I wish that Wayne Dyer would knock on my door right now… I know he could help me.. He’s the MASTER of helping others make their dreams come true!)

Okay… I gots to focus on something happy.. I’m starting to want to get away from myself right now! How bout a delicious helping of 3 things 2 things , eh? I haven’t done this in a while.. and I know it always helps my mood.

3 things that make me happy:

1. Seeing our wonderful wonderful photographs from our amazing Photographer Michael Smith of Ash Imagery as well as his assist for the weekend, Jen Arthur,  her photos also ROCK THE CATBOX! Wow.. I am so excited to frame my favorites.. and do a framed collage on our wall… I already have some nice frames!!! NICE!!!
2. Along the same lines… hearing/seeing such wonderful comments/compliments on our wedding/the photos/the flowers.. how much of a Great time everyone had/how they cried/ how they laughed/how FABULOUS we looked (hee)/how much they needed to dance their butts off/How awesome their Tarot Reading was/How awesome we had a cigar roller.. It fills my heart to hear all these things…. ALL these things were in the forefront of Peter and my mind… We (I) REALLY wanted you all to go to a wedding and actually REMEMBER IT!!! Okay.. no, I wasn’t expecting to cry as much as I did. But oh well. We were both very open… the cumulation of all this time.. all this drama.. for this one moment. We weren’t just crying for us.. but the realization of how many people showed up to support our love.. our story. It is still overwhelming for me to know how many important people were sitting in that room. (Or on an airplane due to delayed flights.. Kyle/Wayne)
3. Receiving this amazing Wedding Gift from my friend Kristy. (See photo) We had a great day the other day.. doing errands.. she treated me to lunch at my FAVORITE Restaurant – had some Lobster Bisque (yum) and she brought her gift. To which I opened sitting there… Baby Books. Wow.. Holy Moly! One for Peter on how to be a good Dad… and one book that I really wanted.. Spirit Babies which I’m halfway done with.. among others that I’m interested in diving into. I choked up the moment I started opening them..Wow.. This is 2 steps down the road from where Peter and I are heading (Step 1 is putting down roots aka Moving to a house conducive for having a family or possibly moving somewhere else to do the same.)  Kristy runs a nanny business and is a nanny herself…and she’s been helping me with my own fears about being a mom.. So this gift.. was her love and support.  It meant so much to me.  Thank You Honey.

2 things that I look forward to today:

1. Tonite I’m going to spend a few hours with my beautiful friend Davina and her daughter who I call Baby Tai. (She’s over a year old but the last time I saw her she was a Baby) I’m excited to talk to Davina.. ask her some questions about raising her daughter.. She’s a good resource.
2. Okay well this doesn’t REALLY apply to looking forward to TODAY but while typing this rambling session out to you all.. I got a phone call with a prospective Job opportunity and It brings me peace in my soul to say that I have a Meeting/Interview scheduled next week! Whew!! As soon as I’m finally done rambling.. I’m getting up and doing A HAPPY HOPEFUL DANCE!!! (whatevers going to be… will be.. trying to remember that!)

2 long term things I look forward to:

1. It’s been 3 weeks now.. I’m still waiting for our Marriage License so I can go to the DMV and Social Security and change my last name,etc… I’m kinda eager to do it.. and I know Peter is too. Officially be a Russo and begin signing my name – Kerilyn Russo. Gonna take some gettin’ used to…
2. Our postponed “Honeymoon” for 2 weeks in Italy in March 2010… by then.. we’ll have lots in Savings and can really do our Honeymoon the way we originally intended.  SO excited.

1 person I am going to appreciate:

There is NO way that I could just pick one person… My parents.. Peters mom Maria… wow.. My sister.. my ‘people’  Kyra, Matthew and Michelle… Every single person that traveled.. near and far.. to come be with us…(and even those who couldn’t make it or be with us)  Chantal our Coordinator, Michael Smith our amazing photographer.. Anne Marie who read Tarot…  it goes on….Everyone. Ladybugs even.. Thanks Bertha.

Sigh… so I feel better now. Thank You.
Much Love,
Kerilyn

Posted Friday, October 16th, 2009 at 12:42 pm | High Low. Subscribe to the comments RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.