Hi my people..

Wow.. Can you believe this? I know I’m sitting here.. on my little back patio.. listening to the cicadas.. on this beautiful day.. the sun is shining.. the breezes filter thru my hair as I sit a moment and look back…

Look back in the past…

WHO KNEW? That meeting Peter that day at Dulins Irish Pub in Morgantown, WV in 1996 would lead to us saying our vows.. and wearing rings? Um.. I would be lying if I said I knew. I didn’t. I didn’t know 3-4 years ago… even though the love was there. The Love.. has always been there. But the strongest buildings in the world have the deepest foundations to bear the weight of the height of each floor of glass and concrete. We have bore down into the earth.. to create this very strong.. very sturdy foundation. Created of  good times and bad times. Enough memories and experience to know that what we build as Husband and Wife will be placed on a strong foundation. Has it been easy? No. Would I change a thing? Absolutely Not. Not a one.

And this recent experience has given us even more strength.. to yet again lose my job.. and to face the challenges of only having one salary.. while having to continue on.. has also brought us closer together. With the grace of friends and family… we can sit and relax.. knowing that all has played out the way it should. I have been extraordinarily blessed to be able to focus on the wedding/myself and Peter instead of being stressed out about a job. True it came with it’s own set of challenges… but together we united and I think I can speak for Peter as well as myself that Today.. September 14th.. we both are READY to become one.

Side note: It’s kinda amazing to me… how.. the more I become rooted in my OWN self love.. with my own desire to face the dark spaces in my soul… the more I see things spinning from outside my own personal circle. It’s been an interesting experience to say the least.. to see everyone else spinning about… while I feel calm.. and centered.. and still. Maybe it’s that everyone is always spinning. Maybe it’s just ME that’s not.. and that’s the only difference. I admit it probably is.  I have spent my entire life running and fighting and searching for my purpose.. for my ‘home base’… and I am SO grateful that I can say I have found it.. Safe in the arms of the man who I love.. and who has always loved me.

I am surrounded by wonderful friends and family.. who have been there for me more times than I can count and that I wouldn’t have enough money to pay everyone back for the times they’ve saved my life.  My emotional angels around and about me.. whether I see you every day.. or talk to you once a year (or less!) I FEEL you with me.. and I am grateful that I do.

I have never been one to be shy about how I feel. Good, Bad or Indifferent. As I have come to learn to love myself more now than I ever have… I see just how amazing I am.. and I don’t mean this in a selfish way.. that I have had so much to give… I STILL have so much to give. It’s funny.. Peter and I just had lunch today at PF Chengs (YUM) and My fortune cookie I think summed it up.. it said “The more you give.. the more you have”.. and I couldn’t agree more. I have given to my friends… over the years.. I have always believed that “Friends are our chosen family” and I mean that to the core of who I am. But I feel a shift…. Peter will soon be my family.. as my own family will have grown exponentially by being a part of the Russo clan.. and I feel a shift to dedicate my time to my own family.

I feel happy about this shift. Do I know where it will lead? No. But do I ever really know? No. It is my new dedication to give to my little sister the gift off a Big Sister… Of which I feel like the roles had always been reversed. She has always taken care of me and now… Now that I am RIGHT where I belong.. I feel I want to be the Big Sister she has always deserved. I am grateful for all that she has done for me.. but it’s now time she take off the Big Sister hat and to relay it over to me. And I am ready. I will do all that I can to be by her side.. and to take care of her.. as I carry her heart (I carry it in my heart).

I am ready. I sit here with all conviction that I have NO idea where the road will lead… Before that would have scared the shit out of me.. but now.. I feel calm. I am with the man of my dreams.. Who was there all along but it’s amazing what timing and the gift of experience will do. Will we be in this area? No idea. Move away? Maybe. Will I continue doing design or decide to shift gears and really dive into the untapped potential that I know is brimming inside me. I definitely would like to dedicate some time to writing something.. a memoir I think… as a testimony that Life.. is what you make it. And that we are never alone.

If you will be with me.. I look forward to the laughter and the tears as I believe there will be both. And if not.. I look forward to the next time we meet. Whether you read this as a stranger or a friend… know that you are exactly where you are supposed to be… on the way to something new and exciting.. if you choose to see it that way. Live today as if it were your last. I will NEVER EVER admit to being perfect or having it all under control.. (I mean do you KNOW me? HA!) but I will always do my best to continue learning.. and to NEVER… EVER.. no matter WHAT.. give up.

Much Love,
Kerilyn

PS: I just thought I’d tell you in case you didn’t know (what? NOT tell you something? Ha!) Peter and I TOGETHER decided to postpone our original Honeymoon to Italy for a few months (March) a mutual decision we both feel is the right one. We will be spending some relaxing time.. on a road trip down to Charleston, SC.. and hopping over to Savannah for a night or two.. I am SO excited to share MY Savannah with my soon to be husband. Don’t you worry my friends.. Italy is still there.. waiting patiently in the wings.. I predict Italy will be the place where we will begin our journey to begin our family (Peter says it’s our wedding night but I say no way Jose)… Always.