Sitting out Back

Hiety Ho my lovelies…

What a beautiful evening.. EXACTLY what a spring evening should feel like… Can sit outside without a sweater on… but the gentle gentle breeze I can feel on my skin… in an hour or two that sweater will come in handy. Decided to bring my lovely Ranunculus Flowers that I got at Trader Joes this week outside.. and sit out back… enjoy the chirping birds, look thru my magazines and relish in the fact that it’s Friday and I have a really lovely weekend in store.

Peter bought us a “Perfect places to stay, eat and explore in Italy’ along with a map so we can calculate our  route…  Ain’t he the cutest?  I am so grateful for him… Sigh.

I’m actually waiting for him to get home so we can enjoy some Sushi. Yum. I feel like I’ve been craving Sushi a bit lately… It’s so good.

I must admit to you all.. I had a bit of a frustrating week. Going to and Fro New Jersey last weekend in such a short period of time.. and under the emotional terms we did (Peter agreed to hand over caretaking duties of his Beloved Bella to his brother John and his wife, Kate, to give Pez and I some time to bond without the fear (my fear) of a fierce interaction between the two.  Peter has been amazing. My heart breaks a little bit to know his girl is not with him.. especially at nite which is when Peter and Bella would ‘be’.  Then.. we get back Monday. I’m too pooped to pop on Monday to run… Tuesday and Wednesday I make it to THREE miles!!! Wahoo!! I am so proud of myself.. Then a setback…Tuesday it rained and I wore open shoes… got a HUGE Silver Dollar blister on the ball of my foot…from my feet getting wet and the rubbing of my shoe… which.. by Thursday.. had become infected… So my Run on Thursday was LESS than desired. I actually came home last nite with a Fever.. fell asleep at 8pm with the chills.. i’m sure my bodys way of fighting off infection. I feel fine today except its still uncomfortable to walk on it. Better than yesterday, with proper tools (peroxide, Neosporin, and Bandages) but still.. I didn’t even push it and run tonite… and I’m sitting here feeling a bit crummy that I didn’t meet this weeks goal of exercising. Bums me out quite a bit… oh well… guess I gotta remember that i have over 4 months to go… to the big day…that’s 16 weeks plus where i can make up for it… right?

Your probably wondering why I am even trying so hard… to lose weight.. in order to fit into my awesome dress… Well.. I guess, if i may be so bold… I have always felt really happy to be a girl.. all the perks it has.. getting your nails/feet done.. cute shoes… makeup.. dresses and skirts…jewelry to suit my mood.. different perfumes.. It’s always been something i’ve really enjoyed. Along with my faith.. my wonderful friends.. feeling SO good to finally feel where i am supposed to be.. with my love Peter and in my career… I’m always busy doing things.. seeing things..trying new things, etc.. that well… I really feel like I could enjoy those things more.. FEELING more comfortable in my body. I have always looked on with jealousy at women who can walk into my favorite shop Anthropologie and be able to buy whatever they wanted… I want that… for me. I guess I feel like my spirit… of wanting to inspire others.. to believe.. help others believe…. is kinda the hopeless romantic… and well.. my Spirit doesn’t feel like it suits this big body o’ mine.  Now I know Peter loves me the way I am and my friends  do too.. but I really want the OUTSIDE to match the INSIDE… Does that make sense??? I want this for ME… I can tell.. just in the last 6 months.. that ME is coming out more.. wanting to look pretty and buy new shoes… Back in 1997 I was thin… after losing 70 lbs… but I didn’t really think of it as the OUTSIDE matching the inside because to tell you the truth.. I was pretty lost… I still didn’t know where I was going or what I wanted to do…. NOW… I feel SO…. DEEP breath… into where I am in my life.. that I have never wanted the outside to match the inside more… So if you’re wondering why am I doing this…. That’s why…

I have always loved the kind of friend I am. Perfect, NO WAY. But I love sincerely, and truly. It gives me no greater pleasure than to touch someone.. to help them feel better.. have hope. And well.. it would be nice if, when looking in the mirror… i was able to project that hope….onto myself and into the Body that matches how I feel inside.

With ALL that in mind.. shifting gears a second… a few of my co-workers have been talking about doing the Master Cleanse and well.. it makes me a little nervous.. but going with my Life Philosophy of “What do I REALLY have to lose???” I’m going to try it.. next week.. for 10 days.  Now this is NOT a diet.. i’m not one for dieting.. but more of a Lifestyle change. This cleanse gives the internal organs a chance to rest.. and purge all the toxins and chemicals that we take in year after year.. Do I know how this is going to go? NO. But i hear that If i can make it to day 4.. that mental clarity comes with doing this. So why not? I need to kickstart my adding more healthy eating to the recipe.. than to take a ‘time out’ and clean the pipes.  We’ll see… One day at a time… as they say.

So I will leave you this evening.. tranquil.. hoping you have a great weekend. My plans are nice and easy.. tomorrow morning I have a facial scheduled with my girl Kristy.. then maybe do some planting… going to a party with Peter Saturday nite.. then Sunday.. my wonderful Sunday Morning Routine of Coffee/Newspaper/Sunday Morning Edition.. and then we’re going to my parents house to celebrate my Dads Birthday (tomorrow).  I’m looking forward to it all!!

Hope you have a good one.
Much Love,
Kerilyn