Hey folks..

So.. how was your turkey day weekend? Was it everything you expected? Did you tell someone all that your thankful for? If not.. hey.. there’s today.. hey what about tomorrow? We can always stop to tell someone, preferably someone we love and trust, exactly what we’re grateful for.

I myself have been having my own roller coaster ride of emotions lately.. and I didn’t want you all to feel the ride with me.. wanted to wait for me to feel more on even keel. Lotsa changes, opportunities to “find my voice” and learn lately.. Sometimes change takes time to adjust to.. and I have been trying to adjust to all the big and little changes in my life.

It’s been brought to my attention how much my high/lows have changed the past year.. I would honestly say these little daily emails have changed significantly over the years (wow.. it’s been years.. amazing) I don’t view life the same way I did when I began this, what? how many years ago Lisa? My documentation begins in April, 2002. My intention with this.. is 1. my own form of therapy.. for writing it out helps clear the way for new and brighter things.. 2. trying myself, to really focus on the little things that make up our highs.. and to not focus so much on the big things that I don’t have happen *TRUST ME.. I need to work on this more*** and 3. my attempt to show you all that I might not see the sun, might not want to do anything but sit there and cry in my little puddle.. but there are STILL amazingly little highs going on.. for you too…I cannot express how, even if I don’t write it every day (cause I think it would bore you if I did).. my morning cup of coffee is SUCH a high for me. (maybe cause it’s a drug itself .lol!!!)

The truth is.. this is MY truth. it’s not yours. it’s my experiences.. my highs and lows. I know that each and every one of you has your own little highs (maybe it’s waking to the sound of your child crying every morning, or rolling over to see your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend next to you.. maybe, just maybe.. what gets you out of bed every morning is KNOWING you are doing, in your career, what makes your soul sing.. and THAT is worth every dissapointment you might face elsewhere.

We are all on our own journeys.. with our own neurosis and struggles.. our own neck to neck punching battles with our own egos. I know each of you struggle. It’s funny… I laugh at my own naiveness.. thinking when I was younger that it HAD to get easier as I got older.. but it actually gets a bit more complicated.. more pathways, options, roads to try for..perhaps to succeed.. perhaps not.

But I have to say.. that I believe in you.. each of you.. whatever your struggling with. Whether you admit it to the world, like I do (I do that don’t I? lol) or if you choose a few close friends to share your woes with..or noone perhaps… I KNOW you will make it to where you need to go. Even if you come into the finish line with blisters, and sunburn… you WILL do it. I have faith in myself enough to know.. that I might have NO idea what the HECK is going on in my life.. NO idea why it seems like I can’t get a firm grip on the big dog called Life taking ME for a walk.. instead of the other way around. That’s how I feel… but I know I believe in myself ENOUGH.. not too much.. not too little (well, sometimes) I know myself enough.. to keep waking up to that coffee tomorrow.. and meeting Davina at the gym in the evening.

I just wanted to share my thoughts with you.. from my heart.. to you.

Ancora Imparo “I am still learning” in Latin

Love you all,

Kerilyn

“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return. ” – Mary Jean Iron (I LOVE THIS!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!! sez kerilyn)

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” – Carl Jung

Hey..

I hope you had a great Turkey Day! If you hadn’t read it yet, check out my earlier posting for today, but I wanted to share something with you all.. I got this email today and I thought it meant a lot.. take a moment and breathe this in.. for it truly is.. the reason why we are here.

Happy Thanksgiving.

“Today, give thanks.

Step outside for a moment, take a deep breath and give thanks for being you, exactly as you are, alive for one more day and able to draw this breath.

Today, give thanks for the love you give yourself, for it is from this love of self and from this gratitude for being alive that all other love flows. Set aside all criticism of yourself and let love fill you. Fill yourself fuller and fuller with love of self and love of life.

Fuller and fuller until you sense the unending love of the universe which is there for you, all of the love in the universe, pouring into you and filling you up, fuller and fuller.

And now, let that love overflow. Let it first cleanse you of the past, so that today is seen as the treasure it is, shiny new and sparkling, all possibilities exposed like diamonds in the sun. And the future will extend from this. Not from yesterday, but from this pure and sparkling wonder which is you, full of love on this perfect day.

And now, let the love begin to flow out and reach everyone in your life. Let all old annoyances and hurts be washed clean in this flow of love. Let all anger disappear as your forgiving love flows out and touches everyone you know.

And now, let it continue, until it fills the world, touches everyone on the earth. Let it flow and flow until the world is awash with sweet flowing love.

And again, give thanks. For being you, for being here, for being such an important part of all that is on this wondrous day. Know that the love which flows into you, through you, and from you heals you and entire world. Today, all day, just let it flow with gratitude, with joy, with love unending.”

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!

Morning! How are you all? I am totally enjoying the morning.. the smell of garlic wafting thru the house.. listening to the marching bands of the Thanksgiving Parade while I mosey around, cleaning and straightening up in my PJ’s. It’s actually quite warm out for this time of year.. in the 60′s but supposed to go down to the 40′s today.

I just want to thank each one of you, for being a part of my life. For tuning in.. even if I don’t talk to you or see you but once a year (or less) please trust me.. you are thought of.

I hope as you enjoy the turkey and all the fixins this year.. that you take a moment to look out your window.. to see how many miracles are there.. in your life.. how many strange “coincidences” have appeared and placed you right where you are. I hope you do something fun this holiday..

Gobble Gobble!

Ancora Imparo “I am still learning” in Latin

Love you all,

Kerilyn

“When your world is breaking apart, the ground like an earthquake beneath your feet, and you feel as if you are going to fall off the face of your world and slip between the cracks, resist the temptation to hold on tight. The grace of God, and everything for which you may, one day, be thankful for will be found hidden there between the cracks.” –Claire Prideaux

“Let us rise up and be thankful; for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” – Buddha

hey…

How are ya’ll? Ready for turkey day? Yea.. me neither.. I can’t believe the start of the holiday season is here already.. man.. this year flew by..

I had another crappy, cruddy day.. the ONLY good thing that came out of today (side note: I realize everyone.. that I am not the only person in the world to have a cruddy day.. I am merely sharing with you my cruddy day.. by all means, please fill me in on your good &/OR bad day.. I would love to hear. ) oh yea.. the only thing.. that was good.. was I actually got to sit down to eat dinner while watching my favorite show, Scrubs tonite. Other than that.. ALL downhill. I am at my wits end with these crappy things.. yea yea yea.. I know.. it’s all to make me stronger.. yea yea.. I know that.. but it still hurts like HELL when you can’t figure out why EVERYTHING is seemingly falling apart.

Another Side note: I know I am blessed.. I have so much.. again, my morning coffee.. my cat.. my friend Davina, who, after sitting in traffic a while, let me come over and TRY to wait out the traffic.. (Thanks D!)

Ugh.. I don’t even know where to start.. I’ll even go so far as to say that spiritually, I know that I am creating this havoc.. that it’s noone’s fault but my own.. wow.. when the s$#t keeps hitting the fan though.. I’ll tell ya.. it really doesn’t feel like i’m creating this.. (although I know I am deep down) Took 2 hours to get home, in traffic.. and AFTER I waited an hour at Davina’s. I dislike intensely my boss, I am feeling lost with respect to how I feel about someone who I can’t “figure out”.. one minute I’m strong.. the next.. I’m weak. Did I mention that I don’t like my job or my boss….

oh yea.. another good thing.. I bought stuff for mashed potatoes, string beans, and mushrooms.. for turkey day.. still gotta get the recipe for my mom’s carrot casserole so I can go get the stuff.. I am SOOOOOO looking forward to having a few days off.. now only if I could find time to spend by myself (1) and motivate myself to start doing stuff around the house…

Anyway.. Tomorrow is Wednesday.. if I can hold out just 8 hours tomorrow.. it will be over (for a while anyway) I pray it goes better.. that I don’t spend the entire day in my car..or with yet ANOTHER boss who seemingly has mental problems. (Final Side note: WHERE do they teach bosses’ to treat their employees like dirt?? Can you tell me because I’d like to Shut it down!!!!! Oh yea.. and if YOU are a boss… I hope that you are treating your employees with value.. for if they weren’t there.. well let’s not talk about it. A relationship with a boss could be just as hard as a romantic relationship (especially if your boss again is Jeckle and Hyde, like mine! I seem to pick em!)

Ancora Imparo.

Love you all,

Kerilyn

“Life, even in the hardest times, is full of moments to savor. They will not come this way again, not in this way. ” Rinehart (yea yea yea… sez kerilyn)

“When you first get up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last, “what’s the first thing you say to yourself?”"What’s for breakfast?” said Pooh. “What do you say, Piglet?”"I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting today?” said Piglet.Pooh nodded thoughtfully.”It’s the same thing,” he said.” – A.A. Milne

Hey there folks..

How are ya? So.. Monday’s down.. 2 more to go.. then most of us are off for four whole days!!! I can’t tell you how excited I am.. 4 days.. boy, I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself! Anyway.. just WAIT until I tell you what happened to me today.. it’s actually funny now but I’ll tell ya.. it wasn’t funny when I was going thru it.

High: I went to have a reading tonite.. got out of work, and got downtown with 30 minutes to spare. So I went into Filene’s Basement (a discount designer store that I LOVE!) and bought a pair of needed slippers (for 7.99) and this AWESOME bag.. for 12 bucks! (Truth be known I had to fight for the bag.. it didn’t have a price.. the one woman didn’t know how to figure out the price… so I had to go to customer service.. thankfully I was patient because I saved almost 25 bucks! The reading was, as always, very interesting.. some good guidance.. I feel a little better as to the status of where I am right now.. and where I may be in the next year. Some good hints as to the direction I should move toward..

Low: Don’t like my job.. (but we already know that and by the way.. I know most of you might hate your jobs too.. Please don’t think for one second that I think I am the only one that hates my job) Ok.. so after my reading.. I got my car.. and drove to the gym.. Davina was already there.. I brought my clothes.. so I wouldn’t have to go home.. ok.. Parking took 30 minutes.. no.. did you get that? I waited THIRTY MINUTES for a freaking parking spot!!!!!! I am a patient person.. I would say of myself.. but 30 minutes???? COME ON!!! I was so irate that I was screaming in the car.. I worked out SO hard.. I haven’t sweat that much in, well I don’t know. I didn’t get to do weights with Davina because she was already done by the time I got there… OOOH! Ok.. so the parking was just the beginning.. I had to wait in the parking lot afterward so a tractor trailor could back in.. UGH! and then.. I decided to forget it.. it’s too late.. I’m getting chicken from Popeye’s.. ( I know it’s not on my diet but I was already starving and NOT in the mood to cook.) The person in front of me.. in the drive thru.. WHEW… he could not communicate his order.. it took forever!!! I’m at my wits end about this time.. then.. on the way home.. I spilled my coke on my seat!!! WHEN DOES IT END? LIke I said.. I can laugh about it now.. but at the time.. man lookout.. Crazy Keri on the move.

Whew.. So I sit here.. with my new slippers on.. in my flannel pj’s.. feeling satiated by food, comforted by my reading, and so grateful for all that I have in my life.. The little things, my morning coffee, my cat, the fact that I can see, smell, taste, feel, and hear today. That I know what a butterfly looks like, that I know what it’s like to laugh so hard my tummy hurts, that I can wear skirts and pretty shoes, that I am not alone, grateful that people know me well enough to know when I’m not myself (thought about it.. it’s a blessing) thankful that Naomi bought this beautiful place that I can live in.. and grow into. Thankful that I will see my friend Bridget this year for Thanksgiving.. ah.. so much.. I am so blessed.. “I am too blessed to be stressed or depressed, and too anointed to be dissapointed.”- Unknown A good one.. I think..

Anyway all… Tuesday’s upon us.. let’s try… to stop and take stock of all that you have.. so when you go to the thanksgiving table.. you’ll have prepared yourself a little for what the day is supposed to be about..

Ancora Imparo “I am still learning” in Latin

Love you all,

Kerilyn

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough,and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today,and creates a vision for tomorrow.” – Melody Beattie

“Today a new sun rises for me; everything lives, everything is animated, everything seems to speak to me of my passion, everything invites me to cherish it.” -Anne de Lenclos

Hi everyone..

How are you? Glad it’s Friday nite? I surely am. SO glad to have some time by myself this weekend. It’s actually a nice temperature outside today.. I didn’t need a coat which is nice. But it looks like Saturday might be rainy and yucky..I guess that puts a damper on my raking. (Secret: I like to do stuff outside so I’ve been kinda looking forward to it)

High: I had a GREAT hair day today and actually I got a LOT of compliments on my all around appearance today. My boss wasn’t in the office all day until 3ish.. SO nice to not have him around, especially on a Friday.

Low: Major changes taking place for me.. my friendships. One of my closest friends decided that she couldn’t be my friend anymore, makes me very sad to have to end something that has been such an important part of my life. I have come face to face with one of my biggest fears in my life, to have people I love.. leave. Many hurtful things were said, from both of us and I think it will be good for us to go our separate ways, so we can experience different things. I am sure I will go thru the gammit of different emotions, like the 5 stages of grief, but I’m sure that both of us will come out better for having gone thru this. My hope is that I learn to know and love myself more from having this experience. That is my prayer anyway.

Ya know, the prevalent moral of this weeks situation to me is a quote I have in front of me right now, that I got from a fortune cookie a long time ago… “The only certainty is that nothing is certain” Ain’t that the truth? But I think that’s what life is all about..learning to take lifes ups and downs with Grace, to do the best job that we can, and continue to look at ourselves.. our “stuff”, the things that we need to work on.. and not push it away.. to try to deal with the consequences of our actions or inactions the best ways we can.. I will continue to try looking at my stuff.. and keep trying to do the best job I can.. even if that’s not good enough to anyone else…

Have a great weekend everybody.

Ancora Imparo “I am still learning” in Latin.

Love you all,

Kerilyn

“People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.”-Emerson

“Be mindful that happiness is not based on possessions, power, or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect” – Author unknown

“If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fears.” -Glenn Clark

hey folksies..

what’s goin on? anything exciting? late breaking? Come on… talk to me! Tell me what’s going on with you. Now for the few of you I talk to all the time.. I already know how you are.. but some of you I don’t talk to often to never.. shoot me a line. Today ended up to be a beautiful day.. weather wise.. in the 60′s.. blue sky.. really quite lovely out. A perfect day to go site seeing.. or walk around with someone you love.. holding hands (can you tell this what I was wishing I was doing today?) Anyway.. lovely day.. I hope it stays like this.

High: I got a phone call from my previous landlord.. he wanted to know my forwarding address so he can send me my security deposit back! Woo Hoo.. some extra money coming to me soon.. I love that feeling! Had another good workout tonite.. made a yummy meal (I love button mushrooms, sauteed in butter.. oh my.. my new fave food)

Low: I had to, yet AGAIN, drive out to this job site.. an hour or so (one way).. there was a problem on site that I couldn’t answer.. so I had to wait for my boss.. I waited.. and waited.. it was so boring.. it gave me time to think “WHY am I at this job?” I think next week I’m going to start sending resumes again.. not sure where.. but somewhere. Keep runnin I guess (insert pessimistic comment)

I am off to bed.. so g’nite folks.. Sleep tight.. and sweet dreams.

Ancora Imparo “I am still learning” in Latin

Love you all,

Kerilyn

“Life is good. Regardless of the vagaries of living, life is worth living if only to have the opportunity to smell the sweet lemon-vanilla scent of magnolia blossoms, to see one paper-thin periwinkle butterfly flutter about, to feel one cool breeze dance across your skin on a warm summer day, to hear one chickadee call out for a mate, or to taste the juicy sweet nectar of one ripe peach.

Joy–the possibility of joy–is abundant even in times of sorrow if only we use our senses. Love life back.” — Claire Prideaux (I say BIG WOW for this quote.. go claire!)

Hey there folksies..

How are ya? It’s Monday nite.. and I wish it was Friday already. I’m just not in the mood for work this week (wait.. when AM I in the mood for this job? uh.. never) It was a nice day.. relatively for this time of year, in the 60′s.

High: Had a REALLY great workout tonite with Davina, my gym partner. We worked our arms, I found out that I lost another 4 lbs. which makes a total of 29 (but I will use my rounding skills and round it to 30) 30 lbs.. pretty good i’d say.. I have just another 46 to go (give or take a few) That made my day!

Low: Did a tremendous amount of driving today.. Didn’t want to be at my job today. Grrr. Bad hair day today too.

Today was a relatively uneventful day.. I think I’m still coming down off of having a good weekend with my friends.. I wish that I could just hang out with them for the rest of my life.. and magically have some sorta income implanted into my account.. play all day.. Sounds nice!

K kids.. I’m off to bed.. I’ll chat with you tomorrow.

Ancora Imparo “I am still learning” in Latin.

Love you all,

Kerilyn

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come.”Annie Lamott

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes youcome alive and go do that … because what the world really needs ispeople who have come alive.” —- Howard Thurman