Hey peeps,

How are ya? How was your weekend? Uh.. I am SOOOOO not wanting to go to work tomorrow! not AT ALL!!!!!! I wish I had at least 3 more days off.. (it’s especially grueling when you go to a job that you don’t give two hoots about,ugh) Anyway… It’s official.. I have begun to move. And.. while it is tiring and exhausting and it’s 9pm Sunday and I’m about to go to bed.. it’s kinda exciting.. putting things in the linen closet.. arranging and setting up. Truthfully it wasn’t until this afternoon that I began feeling this slight excitement for this next phase.. I got enough of a burst of this enthusiasm.. that I am not in a bad mood right now. Living in my apartment now feels stranger-like to me.. I don’t recognize it.. it’s weird. Like the back of the house of Macy’s.. with boxes and dusty shelves, clothes thrown everywhere.. The weather was nice yesterday.. chilly but clear.. today.. no such luck.. rainy.. dreary..again, the kind of day when Hot Cocoa is a must and warm socks should be issued at the door.. (side note.. I’ve never done this.. but I hear putting socks in the microwave for a few secs.. gives them a nice toasty feeling.. eh, might try it.

I’m desparately in need of a good book.. I’ve been so tired lately.. that TV has not amused me much.. and the thoughts of reading at least a few pages of a good book before I can’t keep my eyes open anymore.. well I would like it I think.

So.. please be patient with me as I go thru this week. My computer will be dismantled.. and I will, for some time, have no internet access.. so.. with that said.. If you need to get a hold of me.. you can call me on my cell 703-626-9790 (the best place, cause my home phone is being shut off on Friday)

Oh yea.. Friday I saw a great movie.. kinda freaky/weird but still really edge of your seat.. Go out and rent “The day after tomorrow” I liked it.

Anyway.. please say a prayer, affirmation, positive thought for me that this week goes by smoothly.. that this move this weekend goes swimmingly.. and that I will, this time next week be able to write you all again.. from the comfort from my new abode! I hope Pez, my kitty, will like it.. (I’m sure she will.. she’s going to have 3 floors, THREE FLOORS PEZ!)

Another Side note: I’m really excited anticipating my best friend Michelle’s visit in 3 weekends.. I’m psyched to have my first house (and I can actually say house this time) guest! Rock on!

Talk to you all later,

Ancora Imparo “I am still learning” – in Latin

love you all,

Kerilyn

“We have to keep trying things we’re not sure we can pull off. If we just do the things we know we can do… you don’t grow as much. You gotta take those chances on making those big mistakes.”– Cybill Shepherd

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”– Anonymous

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.”– Charles Schultz

Hey everyone..

Is it over yet? Thanks goodness it’s friday! I am serious with you that this week has seemed to occur in nanoseconds. Man, living in groundhog day isn’t very fun. The weather is poopy.. dreary, rainy, foggy, dark, chilly, just plain gross. This week I have either wanted to sit down and cry, or lay down and sleep.

High: Well… happy to report that this weeks dilemma with the house has come to a resolution. Hopefully this evening both Naomi and I will see the fruits of our labor. And.. just as I had earlier stated, the result, although not as cost effective as our previous plan, will be more rewarding in the end. My sister Kristine is so sweet, she changed her work schedule around to help me move next weekend… SO appreciative! Formulating some good thoughts on my 30th birthday party on January 8th.

Neutral: I don’t know how to feel about this.. because I just found out about this last nite.. but Peter was offered the Executive Sous Chef position at a fine dining restaurant in Philadelphia or a lateral change to a new restaurant they are going to be opening here in D.C. soon. I told him that I support him, whatever he does.. part of me will be really sad if he leaves.. but I know it would be a good move for him. We’ll see.. I’ll keep you updated.

Low: I don’t know what’s going on.. my boss has been weird with me this week. Most of the week he was curt and short with me.. and then the next minute he’s nice again…I know I’ve been more sensitive this week, but he’s been kinda cruel overall. I don’t know if he has stuff going on, but it doesn’t make me feel good and actually makes me feel like I am ready to maybe consider something different. I am tired, mentally drained, and just in need of some solace from the world this weekend. So much has gone on the past few months.. I know it’s all about my mind’s view about the situations, but I am really desiring a break for a little while.. I don’t recognize my apartment anymore.. it’s mostly boxed up… I’ve been too busy to even be sad about it.. (actually I’m SOO excited about the new space)

This weekend.. ah.. what am I doing? Well tonite I’m RESTING.. going to rent a few movies.. get in my flannel pj’s and chill out… get up WHENEVER I want tomorrow.. make coffee.. and then pack more as well as go to the new house to set up the kitchen.. I’m going to try to enjoy the downtime I have.. and rest as much as I can.. next weekend is going to be VERY VERY hectic!!!

I hope you have a great weekend, whatever you do.. the leaves are 70% changed here.. but it’s so wet and dreary.. it doesn’t make for full appreciation of the gloriousness of the season. Anyway.. Have a great weekend..

Ancora Imparo “I am still learning” in Latin

love you all,

Kerilyn

“For nothing is fixed, forever and forever and forever, it is not fixed; the earth is always shifting, the light is always changing, the sea does not cease to grind down rock. Generations do not cease to be born, and we are responsible to them because we are the only witnesses they have. The sea rises, the light fails, lovers cling to each other, and children cling to us. The moment we cease to hold each other, the sea engulfs us and the light goes out.” – James Baldwin

“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers

Hey..

It’s still really foggy today.. both the weather as well as my state of mind.. I am happy to report, though, that The Superwoman team of Naomi and Kerilyn have compiled enough information for Naomi to make a decision on the status of the debacle at the house today.. hopefully.

I think it might be the weather..the kind of chilly, damp on your skin, a sweater won’t do the trick, I should be in bed, with a cup of cocoa watching Oprah with warm socks on, kinda weather… as I sit here at work..

Today.. I am feeling so distant from any yearning to be here at this job.. it’s quite sad.. because I feel like If i were to psych myself up.. I would really do a good job at this.. But my soul.. stirs.. stirring an empty pot of uninspiration and sense of settling.. Maybe it’s because all of the ’stuff’ going on in my life at the moment.. but I wish I wasn’t here this week. Wish.. that someone would call me and say.. “I’ve got a job for you! You will help others, be surrounded by inspiring people, use your creativity, make more money than you are!!!” (yea.. that would be nice)

Now I know.. that this is just a pipedream. I think I’m done with wishing for the pipe dream dream.. I think I just have to accept the fact that I may be Kerilyn Fox, Facilities Service Account Manager for the rest of my freaking life.. (ugh. I am not a victim, I am not a victim)

Whatever I do.. I am thinking about this kinda stuff.. WHY is it that I have continually not succeeded (the way I wish to) in my career and in successfully finding someone who is into me as much as I would be into him… I JUST don’t get it. I mean.. I try.. I go on dates.. I try to find the job.. I know that there are lots of people that are just not doing anything.. and SOMETHING is happening for them… Why is it that it doesn’t come to me? I wish you knew the sadness and dissapointment I feel within me when I think of this..

Yea.. I know.. “Keep your chin up Keri. You have so many other things Keri.” Yea.. I do. But I just don’t get why I can’t succeed in the 2 biggest areas that I focus on.. I mean.. they say as you think so shall you be? *note to self: I am probably sure that the fact that I am thinking in the victim/whoa is me mode of thinking is exactly what’s preventing me from manifesting what I want.. I JUST DON’T KNOW HOW to 1. stop thinking this completely and 2. proactively work on what I DO need to do..

Sigh.. oh well.. Another day. “IT’S GROUND HOG DAY!”

Ancora Imparo “I am still learning” – in Latin (am I?)

love you all,

Kerilyn

hey..

I realize that I should probably not write to you all when I am not feeling mentally positive.. but I know I haven’t written the past 2 nites… and I should probably fill you in on the neverending saga of both positive and negative obstacles that have been thrown in my path as of late….

Just for those who don’t know.. I’m in transition.. in more ways than one..

Without going into specifics, because all the frustrating things going on right now will be solved and then I’ll be eating my words when I say that it all worked out the way it should and better yet.. worked out BETTER than it would’ve if _____ hadn’t happened. (eh.. I’m trying to learn here) Let’s just say there are major delays presenting themselves with my move this weekend that are out of both Naomi and my control. We are both in superwoman mode.. having pow wows and trying to solve this together. (which we will!) I am aware of one BIG thing occuring as a result of the strange calamity of the moment.. the apparent strength of my friendship with Naomi has been taken into another incredible realm.. it’s blows me away how this experience has strengthened us (up to this point) .. Naomi suggested that we should probably look into auditioning for the “The Great Race” TV show.. I think I agree!

And other things.. oh yes.. the Corcoran.. um.. I left a bit dissapointed friday.. at my own expectations of what I thought was to come from this meeting.. Nothing available right now, doesn’t mean I’m not giving up, nope.. I guess I wish SO hard for something magical to happen.. eh.. who knows.. maybe it will.

It really is.. apparent to me.. that Peter and I are truly destined to be just friends.. part of me has been fighting it.. because I do love him.. and I guess I focus on his POTENTIAL (when he decides he wants to settle down.. he’s going to make someone a great husband).. instead of what IS.. (he’s not ready to do that.. plus.. his career(chef) isn’t conducive to what I’m looking for right now) I know he’ll be in my life for the rest of my life.. I feel that so strongly.. I just think.. when I release my fear of missing a future possiblity…. that we make great friends.. and that is ok too.

I’m tryin folks.. please bear with me.. things have been hectic.. packing.. appointments.. etc.. the full gammit of experiences that exercise the minds parameters of what I can handle.. and what I can’t. It’s truly been a roller coaster ride.. the past 5 years.. and I say to you all… but in the end.. I will have an entire card catalog of “When I was your age” stories to tell my future children.. (no.. walking 5 miles in the snow without shoes on will not be one of them, thankfully!) hey..at least I still have my humor..

Have a great day.. PLEASE say a prayer for me today, right now.

Ancora Imparo “I am still learning” in Latin.

love you all,

Kerilyn

PS: you wanna know what i just found out…. Zach Braff is dating Mandy Moore…. Guess no luck for me.. poo.

“Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might as well put that passing time to the best possible use.” – Earl Nightingale

“Fear is like a giant fog. It sits on your brain and blocks everything: real feelings, true happiness, real joy. They can’t get through that fog. But you lift it, and buddy, you’re in for the ride of your life.” – From the movie “Defending Your Life” (LOVE This movie!!!! EVERYONE should go out and see this if you haven’t already!)

Hey there folks.

How goes it? It’s thursday nite.. it was a beautiful day out today.. i love this time of year when it’s chilly in the morning and then it warms up and is a beautiful day.. then the evening is warmer than the morning (duh) Well I love it… The sky tonite, during sunset was beautful.. shades of blue and white.. so lovely.

High: Had a day out of the office today.. by myself.. kinda nice.. my sister and I had a yummy meal at Outback.. yumm… Good circle tonite.. good talks…

Low: Boring day at work.. even though i was out of the office, which was nice.. I really don’t have a lot to do right now.. and I don’t like being bored.. it reminds me TOO much of past jobs.. STILL hadn’t heard from Lee.. pretty bummed about that.. Another one bites the dust.

I am getting nervous about tomorrow.. meeting the Director of Personnel at the Corcoran.. at 4pm.. Nervous because of superficial things (but are still important to me) like the fact that my roots are showing a lot in my hair and I wish I had my hair colored for this.. and that I wish I had some extra money to get my eyebrows waxed (darn.. payday Saturday) Have NO idea what I’m going to wear.. I want to show her that I’m funky.. and professional.. and passionate.. I learned in school that wardrobe is impt during an interview.. We’ll see how it goes.. Please say a prayer for me please.. I would really appreciate it.

I’ll email you this weekend.. and let you know how it goes.. I will be packing like a mad feign this weekend.. (again.. if your in the area.. give me a call/cell 703-626-9790) I hope you all do something nice for yourselves this weekend.

Ancora Imparo.

Love you all,

Kerilyn

“I have made this letter longer than usual, because I lack the time to make it short.” – Blaise Pascal (this is EXACTLY how I feel AFTER I write my high/low and I’m like “uh.. it’s so long!”)

“Yellow, mellow, ripened days, Sheltered in a golden coating; O’er the dreamy, listless haze, White and dainty cloudlets floating; Winking at the blushing trees, And the sombre, furrowed fallow; Smiling at the airy ease, Of the southward flying swallow Sweet and smiling are thy ways, Beauteous, golden Autumn days. ” -Will Carleton