Hey there folks..

How are you? I’m making this ultra short.. since I last wrote.. I went to the gym.. had a great workout.. GREAT.. ( I just feel so good after working out.. like I have the ability to reverse any icky feelings I might have during the day. I stand there.. in the mirror of the women’s bathroom, after working out.. and I’m all sweaty.. I look at myself.. doing something to make myself feel better and it makes it ALL worth while. I am proud of me. I can tell a difference in my body.. in my clarity.. and my focus.. which rocks.

I made a yummy dinner.. sat and watched most of the movie ‘Meet Joe Black’ an awesome example of living the Rich Life.. already made my coffee for tomorrow, so all i have to do it turn it on.. and I am gonna get into bed and read a while..

I was talking to God today (for those of you who believe in them) and I was saying “It’s so amazing how up and down this thing called life is.. one minute your up.. another.. down. It can be confusing.. but if we learn to stop and appreciate it.. it makes the ride SO much more worth while..

Anyway my loves.. I hope you have a good nite. Tuesday, Here I come.

Ancora Imparo.

Love you all,

Kerilyn

“I am learning to understand rather than immediately judge or to be judged. I cannot blindly follow the crowd and accept their approach. I will not allow myself to indulge in the usual manipulating game of role creation. Fortunately for me, my self-knowledge has transcended that and I have come to understand that life is best to be lived and not to be conceptualized. I am happy because I am growing daily and I am honestly not knowing where the limit lies. To be certain, every day there can be a revelation or a new discovery. I treasure the memory of the past misfortunes. It has added more to my bank of fortitude.” ~ Bruce Lee ~ (i think i used this before.. but it’s useful to read again i think)

Hey..

I’m pretty bored here at work today.. so I thought I’d shoot you all a surprise note.. to say Hi. Today is georgious! Another day of no clouds.. just blue blue sky.. like God just Chlorine’d the pool and it’s brilliantly blue. The chill is still in the air.. I love it.. Note to self: Need to purchase fuzzy slippers for the fall.. this morning was kinda chilly and a new pair of slippers woulda done the trick. It’s supposed to get a little warmer (mid 80′s) tomorrow.. no worries.. in just a matter of time it will be chilly and then snowy (eww).

High: The weather makes me really happy.. love to take in the chilly air in my lungs.. revives me. I am happy to report that I am losing weight and if I keep going to the gym the way I have been 4x/week.. then I will probably have to start buying new pants soon. Makes me really happy to have that to look forward to.

Low: Overall having a kinda blah day.. nothing important… Well, you know what’s going on in my brain.. job, relationship, my expectations of where I thought I was going to be.

Anyway.. just shooting ya’ll a note.. something different.

Have a great evening.

Ancora Imparo.

Love you all,

kerilyn

“There are so many things that we wish we had done yesterday, so few that we feel like doing today. ” ~Mignon McLaughlin (oh my this is RIGHT outta my brain today!)

“Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day. ” ~Author Unknown

Hey there everybody,

how are ya? How was your weekend? Mine.. was too short. Saturday the weather was overcast and dreary here in the D.C. area… and today.. was georgeous! Today was the type of day that I am glad to be alive. Not a cloud in the sky.. that twinge of chill in the air.. a little Post it Note on our skin reminding us that the leaves will soon fall.. and the hopes of warm sweaters (if your lucky maybe it will be Cashmere) and hot chocolate with marshmallows. I love this time of year.. people getting ready to slow down for the winter.. it’s subtle.. but if you pay attention.. you can feel it. A sadness.. of the summer gone by.. children lugging their books back to school… ahh… love it.

High: This weekend was low key, nothing magnamous. Friday, went to the gym then sat in front of TV with glass of vino.. Saturday I spend the day at the Alexandria Homeownership Assistance program class.. 10-5:30.. I learned SOO much about buying a house.. what’s involved.. how much money is actually involved.. whew.. When I am ready to buy.. I feel that taking this class will have better prepared me.. I think most people should take a class like this. Saturday was again..a chill out nite. Today I went to Ihop with my girl Cathy.. went to get food so I DON’T eat out this week (trying to save money) laundry and cleaning.. talked to my girl Michelle on the phone… made yummy dinner (corn on the cob, feta/spinach/chicken sausages and a salad) watched the pre-emmy show.. Watched the emmy’s long enough to catch a glimpse of my “hi,i’m 14 years old again” crush, Zach Braff.

Low: Moments of frustration.. I wanted to clean more.. but I also wanted to relax.. didn’t get as much cleaning done as I wanted. Had some time this weekend to go over what’s going on in my life TRYING to appreciate all I have going on.. but I am still working on being OK with my expectations of where I thought I was going to be vs. where I actually am. It makes me sad sometimes.. but I am grateful to have all I do.

Anyway folks.. this is probably going to be a busy week for me.. I have a feeling I’m going to be going up to New Jersey this week to go to Peter’s grandfathers funeral… it’s a matter of days before he crosses over. I was already going up there to visit my girlfriend Kyra.. but who knows now.. might have to go up earlier.

I hope you all a wonderful week. Tread lightly on yourself.

Ancora Imparo.

Love you all,

Kerilyn

“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.”~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

“When you come to the edge of all the light you know, And are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, FAITH is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught how to fly.”~ Patrick Overton

Hello my Miss Mary Macks…

How are ya? I’m tired.. pooped.. stick a fork in me.. I’m done.Why am I so tired? I don’t know exactly.. maybe cause I’ve been working out more.. who knows.. anyway.. for us in D.C. the weather was overcast and slightly humid.. but we are blessed not to have the kindsa weather others are having (Dear God, I ask a blessing for all the people that are in the midst of these devastating hurricanes, please protect them!) The weather prediction for the next few days…. Rain. That’s it.. Rain.

High: Nothing major today.. just a normal, run of the mill day. Had good workout.. went out to dinner with my friend Janet.. yummy food!

Low: I still have this slight migraine i’ve now had for bout 24 hours.. it’s mild but there.. ugh.

I’m making this short (oh you KNOW I’ll write a longer one when something really yummy happens) oh.. I might have a date.. (more on that when it solidifys) So keep smiling.. tread lightly on yourselves.. and I’ll chat with you lata.. maybe I’ll make an appearance this weekend!

Ancora Imparo.

Love you all,

Kerilyn

“Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand – strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO – What a Ride!” – Unknown

Howdy partners..

How are ya’ll? Thankfully we’ve gotten thru the beginning part of the week.. now the cool down into the weekend.. Which I’m grateful for. Today was cool.. I didn’t need my air conditioning which is nice.. Love that.

High: I received a great message from one of my best friend Matthew.. he’s awesome. Had a good day at work.. even though this isn’t my ideal/dream job in the least, I’m kinda getting the hang of this job.. which makes me happy. I also had a great conversation with my other best friend Michelle.. so nice to feel loved.. Had a good workout at the gym.. i just love the feeling when I get off the machine and I’m all sweaty.. makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something. Peter and I had dinner.. I pigged out on yummy fajitas!

Low: Ok.. this is gross but I hurt my toe a few weeks ago.. from rubbing on the top of my sneaker when I exercise.. it turned black and this weekend.. fell off.. I know.. I told you it’s gross. I know I need to buy new sneakers, I plan on it this weekend.. but now my toe feels all exposed and deformed till it grows back.

Anyway.. I hope your well. I’m keepin this short.. I kinda got a headache and need my beauty sleep!

Have a great Thursday!

Ancora Imparo “I am still learning” in Latin

Love you all,

Kerilyn

“All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself.” ~Ralph Ellison, “Battle Royal”

“Man stands in his own shadow and wonders why it’s dark.” ~Zen Proverb

Well, well, well…..

I am happy to report to you all, but I feel a LOT better! I think I figured out what it was that was making me feel blue.. I haven’t exercised in about a week and a half.. and I think the sedentary-ness of this past week, made my “stuff”, my emotions come to the surface.. and therefore made me feel like there was no hope. It’s kinda amazing how endorphins and the knowing that I’m doing something that will make me feel better.. makes me feel better. I get off that elliptical thingy jiggy thing, all sweaty from movin’; listening to the one CD thats been on repeat for bout 4 weeks now.. (no.. amazingly enough I am not sick of it yet.. I try to listen to something else but I keep going back to it) Instantaneously I am clearer in the mind.. able to see how I allowed myself to sink in the Pit of Despair (not unlike the Princess Bride)

I actually had a really stinky day.. emotionally. Couldn’t climb out of the self imposed ditch I dug.. like a weed wacker.. you pull that string.. trying to get it to start.. and the harder you pull.. still, nothing.. That’s how I was trying to get out of this mood.. but alas.. that is hopefully over for the time being. See… the trick, I think.. is REALLY about not worrying about the expectations of what you want to happen..well, that’s why they’re called expectations.. what we expect.. but to work on the RIGHT NOW.. ep.. now right now is gone.. ok.. right NOW! ok.. well you get my point. It’s good to have dreams.. ideas.. goals.. aspirations.. (shoot.. I am ready to 1. work at the Corcoran 2. Open my store of spiritual/creative things 3. Start my own greeting card business 4. Create my own funky clothing line for big girls.. ) NOW I have to just work at it.. not complain.. “aww.. it’s not working.. nothings coming… uh yea.. cause I haven’t done anything.. )

Gotta do something.. but I think I will start with exercising.. drinking enough water.. listening to my kitty cat purr, receiving phone calls from friends, laying in my bed reading.. MORNING COFFEE!!! (big one), finding a close parking spot, meditating every morning…

Today was a muggy day.. not hot, cause the fall is staging it’s presence.. which I receive with anticipated inspiration.. Thanks for listening today again..

Ancora Imparo “I am still learning” in Latin.

Love you all,

Kerilyn

“Grown-ups love figures. When you tell them that you have made a new friend, they never ask you any questions about essential matters. They never say to you, &34;What does his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect butterflies?” Instead, they demand: “How old is he? How many brothers has he? How much does he weigh? How much money does his father make?” Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about him. ” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry,The Little Prince

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. “~Ambrose Redmoon

Hey ya’ll.

How ya doin? I am not going into the normal malarky of my typical High/Low.. well, because I don’t feel like it. I have been feeling quite blue lately, intermingled with bouts of smiling, laughing and happiness.. but this steady wave of melancoly that I CANNOT put my finger on, boggles me.

I feel like my blinders are on.. the blinders of self pity and whoa is me-ness. An emptyness in my heart.. ah.. I sit here, asking my soul, my guides; why I feel this.. what comes to mind is the releasing of all past expectations of what my future is to be. Funny.. I was in the grocery store (buying milk for tomorrows coffee) kinda saying to myself “why isn’t anything happening that I want? when are the clouds of my confusion.. (no.. I do not wish to own this) eh..clouds of the confusion and feeling lost feeling going to part and make way for something magical and wonderful??? Am I stupid to believe all the things I was told as a young person.. that I CAN make my dreams come true.. that I CAN do anything I want in this world. (the voice in my head rebuttles saying, “You haven’t TRIED to make your dreams come true.. you want it to come to you) eww. Anyway.. back to the grocery store.. I’m thinking these things and I hear in my head (trust me.. I know I’m not crazy) “Kerilyn,if you got everything you wanted tomorrow.. would you be ready for it? Emotionally? Physically? Spiritually? ) damn.. the voice in my head is right.. I don’t think I would be ready.

I need to live my life RIGHT NOW.. like I was ready. Maybe that’s whats preventing the greatest thing to happen… my inability to “be ready” for it all. I am living in the “When God?” and not trying to prepare for whatever “it” is… Wow.. kinda like a marathon.. (my girl Davina, God bless her, is training for one.. go Davinia!) she does those runs everyday.. I’m sure they’re hard.. some days she doesn’t want to.. but she does… but she knows that she’s training to be ready.. prepared for the first step.

I need to work on that.. LIVING ready for it.. When I think of what it means to live ready.. it immediately makes me feel better.. makes me want to LIVE more.. try new things, meet new people WITHOUT the expectations of what it should be, when it should be and who it should be with. Definately an obstacle in my life.

Don’t let me diminish something.. I went to the beach this weekend, I had a GREAT time. I am so grateful to be surrounded with people who love me unconditionally,who “get” me. I had told my best friend Naomi, going into this weekend, that I felt quiet.. and it was so nice.. to feel that acceptance of me EXACTLY where I was, no matter where that was. Got some sun.. (with 50 spf sunblock on), good talks, great belly laughs, journaled (worked on more greeting card ideas) got up early and sat alone.. listening to my inner thoughts.. tried to accept them. I HOPE that this trip becomes an annual thing.

Thanks for listening to me. It’s gonna be ok.. I feel myself get choked up but I’m just trying to do the best job with what I have. Some days I’m good at it, some days, i’m even better. It all comes out in the wash.

Ancora Imparo “I am still learning’ in Latin.

Love you all.

Kerilyn

“God, Please grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one person I can, and the wisdom to know it’s me.” – Unknown

Howdy neighbors..

How are you? Hopefully you’re good. I’m hanging in there.. It’s Thursday, tomorrow starts a 3 day weekend at the beach.. Am I packed? Uh, no. Am I ready to lay around with a good book and chill out.. you betcha. I hope my cat, Pez, doesn’t get too mad I’ve been away 2 weekends in a row! I pray the weather will be nice this weekend. Speaking of weather..(bad segway) Today was an on off day.. overcast one minute.. bright and sunny the next.. it’s georgious outside tonite.. I got the crickets chirping away outside my window.. I hope that the crickets follow me to my new place.. it’s such a great way to sleep. *I should make cricket CD’s.. shoot I could make some serious cash.. * (ok, back to reality)

High: Had a good day. Nothing major.. just again another reminder that it’s all about my attitude. My boss didn’t get in till 10ish, which was nice because I got work done in peace and quiet. (Realistically even if he was there I would get work done.. quietly.. but that self induced imaginary pressure of a boss wasn’t there) I felt empowered this morning when I called my contact at the Corcoran, I left message but at least I’m trying to be pro-active. Promise to tell you all as soon as I know something. Had nice circle with the girls (sister Krissy, Naomi and Janet) tonite… we worked on our “stuff” and although working on our stuff is never comfortable.. I think we are all growing tremendously.

Low: Haven’t exercised this week.. it’s kinda bothering me. I have to be ok with the fact that I’m not always going to be able to exercise OR I’m going to have to make a better effort to schedule in my exercising time.. no matter what I have to do. In reality I probably won’t be able to get back to my schedule till next Tuesday, trying to be ok with that. I’m actually quite nervous about getting up early to row. I’ll be honest with you.. there is a part of me that wants to bail.. wants to not do it.. I am not in the right frame of mind to meet new people, at a new place.. and try something new. I know I know how to row.. but who knows how this team does things? I go back and forth between waiting to row till next week, and just sucking it up and doing it tomorrow. Ugh.. I don’t know what to do.. *I guess what is meant to happen, huh?*

Ok my lovebugs.. I hope you have a glorious Friday.. and an even better weekend! I will talk to you all on Tuesday nite.

Ancora Imparo “I am still learning” in Latin

Love you all,

Kerilyn

“It’s better to deal with your fear while going barefoot” – Janet Wayland

“Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?” ~Fanny Brice

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. ” ~Dr. Seuss (wow.. thanks Dr. Seuss!)